Science Today

By Richard Kenney

The first human-chimpanzee chimera,
christened Pan sapiens, was born today
at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, in Boston.

The Hubble’s Very Wide Spool camera
regained partial function of its data
module, and is now on track for the Sirius starburst.

Dr. 32B, chief of research at Merck,
again replied “No comment.” “Ever,” he added,
to Op Ed columns suggesting he’s hostile to the Press.

The Sentient Rover, assembled in America
from Chinese parts, parked since Saturday
in a no-load zone on Mars, appears depressed.

Spokesmen for the Generation Meerkat
Energy Corp. assured critics that the shudder is soldered,
stressing again that “containment vessel” is at best

a metaphor. The starburst—a miracle!
The drug had side effects. The Rover broke. The “baby satyr,”
Pan sapiens, died at his surrogate mother’s breast.

He was hard to look at, she is reported to have said.